Anger is a gift

Often it's hard to observe fear; as an invisible and adapting matter it camouflages under so many other emotional cateogries, it's hard to get caught. Nevertheless, anger reveals the fear instantly. Anger is a gift that can be used as an alcohol; wisely and small portions at the same time in a way, that one can move on when it's necessary and defend those issues that are truly important. In Kalevala lessonings one of the most important lesson is "Know thy will" and considering the Secret -program of the Heart magnet, it never works until one shows clearly the destinations and KNOWS what one wants. If there is any shaking about justification of the dreams wished to come true or fear about the achievements, then one is in the trouble. Shaking gives more lessons about the reasons of the shaking. It's like a dog that knows one fears; of course the dog comes sniffing those who are afraid of them.

Anger is defencive feeling that can "stone" to hatred, who ever dares to recognize it face to face. Searching and watching it as a reflection from other people, one can learn a lot about oneself. If hate isn't managaed with compassion, joy and happiness, it grows to bitterness. These are third chakra problems arising later diabetes and other hormonal-functioning issues. What one defences is of course the valuable issue; matter of priorities. People need safety in many levels, territorial issues are the very first beginning. Then there are finncial and bodily issues, that are related as social territory, yet emotional and communication levels need safety too. Without feeling of safety, one is unable to create anything. And raising kids under pressure of fear is impossible; emotional poison spreading has devastating effects to social network, and the cycle is ready. Someone in the social network needs to cut the chord and bring up the issues, that cause harm.

I've been under pressure of female aggression for several years. In a way it's a maternal line issue, and again it's a cultural phenomenon, as I used to work in the hospitals, where I met a lot of women as a social network, and also in patient level. Victim energy is enlargened there. Empowerment seems to be hot potato in the female network, because there is so much competition, different cup-coalitions fightin over "suitable values" connected to time, habits and territory. People fight over different ideas of priorities, practicies and social manners; what can be said to whom by which tone and who can or couldn't be respected and why and by whom. Hadn't I spent there one decade I would have lost interesting and important view to female thinking and social functions. Most of these forms I've got from "upstairs" to be revelaed, have been tested and observed through intense pressure in the hospital networks. I don't have to suspect their righteousness; I've witnessed them in action.

Women tend to form groups. One can belong to several groups, but "base" needs to be somewhere. I used to be "happy traveler", didn't have any kind of need belonging anywhere, or attaching to certain ward for longer period. By this manner I broke several rules as a female; need of safety, need of network and need of territory, and need of acceptance from the group. Being active in changing places and my urge to break the rules I broke the ancient Greek code of "passive female role", where I was supposed to "take orders" from the superiors. My idea of "we're all on the same line" broke the rule of hierarchy; I was brutal, arrogant and disrespectful towards my colleagues. I was confident of my own skills and therefore I questioned the structures of the wards, and indirectly the authority of the "basic" elements of the wards, when I was supposed to show respect by asking dummy questions from some people, I knew I wouldn't and couldn't trust. I was supposed to show how uncertain or undecisive I could be, even if I knew what's the matter. I think I haven't got a problem of asking when I don't actually know something; of course it's a different issue. Question was a bout role plays, for beginners there are certain rules. I didn't think I was beginner, so I didn't ask dummy questions.

Being active and "knowing without basics of knowing" gets others easily to alarm state; of course from their point of view I wasn't at the level I thought I was, because I had experience from other wards; bu it's never counted. Of course different wards have certain priorities, specialties and protocols that need to be followed, but at some point every ward has also quite ridiculous manners, that are visible only, if one has changed place about twenty times and few have been at one place "forever". Observing things as bouncer is always different than being "inside" something, and I think these issues are there in every family, group of friends, relationship or anywhere, where there are chances to create own inner unique culture. If one finds the structure familiar, feels safe under the terms that can't be questioned and can manage with everything that comes from the "heart circle", then fine. For me the pressure from the nurse and midwife coalition came up so heavy, that I couldn't even belong to the Union.

Female groups show an issue that isn't there in the men's world. Women can't co-operate, they can't reach the same goal without feeling threatened from each other. Whenever it comes to question, is there something wrong with the structure or bosses or anything, it's always "the other group" that is the root of an evil. It was slammed to my face in the very beginning of my career; after Med troops in the Army 2001 I went to midwifery school happy to hear, that my female gender isn't an issue to my survival. Quite contrary; my active and male like manners were to be judged; because of my army I was "such a bloke" I couldn't never be able to take care of True Women. Later the issue was that I was so determined and self-confident I couldn't never manage in the line of labourers; this one became true. Seeing a problem I think they are there to be solved. Most of the women take the problem as a reason to victimze oneself and become a slave, then do some martyr crown shining by showing how well one carries it. Problem is the essence of the ache; the pain and slavery become easily a reason for living and a source of compassion. If the problem was taken away, it would be like "healing the camel from it's hump", it would end the story of being camel in the first place. Being a bloke in social manners and living the female body life was a lie against the True Womanhood. Then came the questioning of my sexual orientation, my aims to rape the girls in the Christmas party and good Lord, what else. Later observation of these accusations have been interesting source of the aura level memorizing my past lives actions. Hospitals are karmic rest rooms and not healing houses.

During midwifery school we of course studied also hard issues in the global level; these were for example circumcisions in African culture and widow burnings in India. Thinking, that these traditions are mostly carried along by females, is an astonishing fact. During the Maternal line time men were enslaved and tortured viciously by women. At the time of the Paternal line men have tortured women as a revenge, and apparently women became to torture each other by few reasons; on the other hand it's a matter of survival, on the other hand it's the cruelty issue, maybe even pleasure of torture. Men tend to kill the offspring, women seem to do the torturing, at the statistics this interesting point can be found in domestic violence observations. It's hard to understand how any mother give their babies to slavery or to hands of circumcisionist, but apparently "hope for better future" is a good explanation. Active fear of loosing status in the social network is the greatest fear. The social network has immense power in females; it runs over instincs of protecting offspring, or maybe these lapsuses in logic are in thinking, that protection as "good woman" has later effects if the torturing fun has been "done properly" during early years.

I thaught about this matter when I became to think about Medusa and Athene in the Greek mythology. How come Athene, as a woman, couldn't feel compassionate towards raped "sister in trouble"? If my husband walked along raping other women I wouldn't dare to confess marriage with such a creature. Her logic in turning beauty to the beast arises from deeper levels; how the other woman is a threat, why woman altogether is a threat. Christian ideology has deep basics in both Egyptian and in Greek mythology. Women are considered seductive, lying and willing to do any harm that can be considered. These are reflections from the deep fear of castration from the Maternal line time. At those times male energy was viciously suffocated because it was a threat, the bodily power was obvious source of fear. Maybe women were as well angry about "need of men" as men have been past few thousand years about "need of women" in order to breed and carry on the heritage. Athene was "daddy's girl"; warrior energy, wise and high in knowledge. As a goddess of war, wisdom and healing she was in a state that couldn't possibly be shattered by golden haired, gorgoli but altogehter mortal Lovelylocks that Medusa represented. Why did she feel so threatened, that she needed to turn the victim of his husband to monstrous beast?

Medusa is nowadays full representation of female aggression; and for a good reason. At first she was raped and then judged as any raped, instead of the victim, but guilty of her fate and for a number of other crimes from Athene's point of view. Medusa became furious. How did she feel, when her beauty as a female was turned out to be so ugly, that those who dare to look at her, stoned to death? I think of this, when people fear to look in the mirror, do they fear to see the beauty or the reflection of the monster? How does it feel to live a head full of snakes, symbolizing secrets, lies and wisdom that couldn't be beaten and that was so great threat? Her creative power as sexual creature was turned to devious death causing gaze, and this has happened towards females all in all in Christian ideology, for females are considered as monsters. And not enough of Medusa, her sisters were judged too when they stood for their sisters' rights; representing all women altogether. This embittering and growth of rage happens to any victim, as rape and sexual abuse paralyze especially the energy to create good, or at least harms it seriously. Situation in itself isn't hopeless; when the bitter monster is faced through social reflections and the ugliness cut away, Pegasos, the new and mature generation of the creation, is able to emerge.

Motives of Athene are quite familiar. She considered Medusa as an active part of betrayal, on her holy territory of her Temple, that was smudged by this unholy act. Her state as honored woman was spoiled; she wasn't enough to satisfy her husband, with all her might as goddess. Her achievements and sacrifices as a wife or as a woman meant nothing, when this beauty passed her hubby's life. All of her state as goddes could be thrown away; the other stole the spotlight. How about her insulted feelings, did she love her husband and feel bitter that she wasn't enough, or was she worried about how Medusa made her look as a lover, who couldn't keep her hubby happy? How about Athene; running her business as warrior and as a wife, did she feel exhausted, have enough rest, was she home enough to make out with her mate? Did Poseidon comfort her at all, did he bring her presents or fill her needs as well? Was she raped and used as well, or forgotten totally? Did Athene want other men, but passed the fling's and got mad, when hubby couldn't do the same? The control over her hubby -her property and fortune- were to be sliding to others' pockets.

Position as married woman has been the only honored image of a woman, maybe because of Athene, even though her other attributes as Wizard and Warrior have been judged ones. Maybe it's also because of this image, practical womanhood is appreciated over beauty, that leads "poor men" astray. Instead of thinking or challenging her rotten husband, because the show must go on, she turned her frustration, anger and fear towards the victim, another woman who propably after the rape couldn't even imagine dealing with him in any way. Idea of men as a property, the marriage as a territory -as any social network- and twisted emotions as part of complexity in marriages come from this source. Competition between women in any relationships, get some fuel from this source too. Women are more willing to judge each other than finding the true issues and handle them.

And so became men the victims of women, but not for the right reasons. Extramarital sex has been for centuries ok for men, but not women. Poor men are so dazzled about women's sensuality, that they can't control themselves, and this is used as an excuse to do for women whatever they please. Men, so enslaved by women earlier, were like herding calves after long winter and this immaturity over nesting principles among women has been an itch that can't be healed. Seductive nature and "Medusa's untrustworthiness" from Athene's view is often used by men, who are betrayed by their wives.

In the new heart level concsiousness the treat and convivality are principled in new ways. Thinking of it; if both have more than enough,or if the other one doesn't want the spouse at all; why control the sexual behavior? In sexual field these important priciples of everybodys stardoms, laws of orbits and principle of not harming the other bring totally new field in thinking of the jealousy. Love is meant to be shared and when it's strong and connection is found, it doesn't shatter about sharing. There are fears of survival with offspring, but not for all. I think that when nesting and raising offspring by the children's basic needs grow in the concsiousness, winning the traditional observation levels, both men and women are more free to express them as sexual creatures, more than property of each other, limited in the marriage. Sexual communication in the deep levels can't happen, if safety is any kind of issue. Raising kids when safety is an issue, is even more impossible. I think that people need to evaluate a lot of their ideas of safety, love, sex and family roles. The change in the concsious levels happen through art and wider network, as electrical communication and telepathy force past lives issues to be revealed and when the Shadows in general are banged for good, love arises from the shadow of the Martyrs.